the ones who leave

– Perhaps this time you’ll stay ?
the air between them became filled with the heaviness of her hopeful request.
[Silence].
His lack of response confirmed what she already knew, yet still feared.
He wouldn’t stay, not tonight… Perhaps not ever, he never stayed.

Letters he wrote about her

Lying here in the silence of night, I see the sky through her window frame. Neither pitch black nor clear blue, that’s how I guess that it’s a little before 3a.m. I won’t bother with trying to figure out what time it is actually because my phone and watch remained on the kitchen counter. She does not believe in the necessity for bedside clocks nor bedside tables so my phone and watch always end up on the kitchen counter. She also doesn’t believe in the necessity for curtains in one’s room. I smile to myself when I think about the long list of things she does differently. And memories of the first time I stood in front of the large, curtainless window across her room flood my mind.

I free you

• Would it matter if we were absolutely certain never to meet again?
• Would the dress I wear, the cheap lip gloss I put on or the old flannel shirt you wear matter?
• Would it matter that you smell like the girl from last night or that my eyes are still red from our last fight?
• I wish you’d make haste with it. Simple, short but concise.

Black and Female

Shoes off, earrings out,
Bra off, make up wiped out,
Glasses on, caffeine in..
She watches herself in the mirror.
scrutinously,
then desperately
searching for herself
below the layers of pretense,
underneath the fake smiles
and social conventions.

Prayers for you

To you who gives yourself wholeheartedly
To you who loves unconditionally
To you who listens and guides the lost ones like me
I pray you remain the light that you are
I pray you save some love for yourself
I pray you lift the burden for more lost ones like me

I pray you find someone like you.

reunion

One… five…then ten steps back and forth.
Ragged breathing, uneasy composure. This was it.
We had promised. I had promised.
The next time we stood here we would be ready.
But was I ready? Had it been long enough?

Weak for you

Loving you is like living a thousand and one years on an island, alone with the hope that each year that passes will bring me miraculously to the mainland. You shine too bright and sometimes You don’t shine at all. And I am never constant because my love battles every defense once meant to keep your lot out. I will not long for you, I tell myself and yet I do. I am always, continuously, forever fighting myself, struggling because I’m not used to this. I used to be the wall; and now I face the walls.

Dear English

Dear English
Thanks for all the times you allowed me
to twist and bend you to create the worlds I’ve penned.
You see French was given to me from birth

Architects and bricklayers

We are architects and bricklayers too.
I mean who could have thought?
Look at the walls we built, standing between us
and tell me you still don’t see what I mean.

Thrive

If you were meant to keep everything inside
you wouldn’t have a tongue.
Feelings are meant to be expressed, not repressed
Filtered yes, but only to prevent distress
Don’t you silence yourself in response to the demises of life
Speak, write, draw, sing, dance, create but thrive.